How do you know?

It’s a question we’ve all asked ourselves, friends, family, total strangers… How do you know… if she’s the one? … if you’re happy? … if you’re unhappy? …. if it’s over? Usually the answer is ‘if you have to ask, then you know the answer.’

But instead of asking a question, I’m giving you a statement. I know that it’s over. Why? Because I don’t need to ask. There’s a sense of finality in my soul. Now that sounds deep. But it’s there, in the pit of my stomach. It’s over, I don’t need to mourn it.

I can’t tell you what it is that’s over… no one ever wants to find that out on a blog site.

But when a door closes, another one opens.

I’ve been having an insane amount of fun (and causing myself a hideous number of accidents, mostly painful) at my church’s holiday club.

We played dodgeball (I tried not to go too Patches O’Houlihan on my team), listened to bible stories,  made crafts, played games, learned bible verses, sung songs and danced, and I acted my arse off as the narrator everyday. I realised that this is what true fellowship is, I met new people and loved sharing my faith with children, and new friends alike. My absolute fear of children disappeared into nothingness and, dare I say it, I thoroughly enjoyed myself (apart from the bruises, trapped nerves, grazed knees and swollen ankle…)

So I approached the guy (who is utterly legendary) who organises it, and offered myself for youth club. I didn’t want to promise myself to it before the week was out, in case I regretted it by the end of the week, but I feel like these last 5 days haven’t been a countdown to the end of the week, but a countdown to change. Exciting change… inevitable change.

So my soul might be holding a certain finality on some things, but it’s eagerly anticipating September when youth club starts again. Funny how things happen. Let’s just say, never say never…

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