In the eye of the beholder

So recently I’ve been feeling a little bit down. It’s no secret I’ve been on the job hunt, as are many of my friends, though most of my friends are unemployed instead of a minimum hour contract. But essentially we’re all in the same boat.

I’ve sent my CV out to dozens of employers. I’ve re-written my CV what feels like hundreds of times, I’ve written covering letters begging for employment, but I’m getting nowhere. I’ve had a handful of interviews, and a depressing number of rejection emails and letters, phone calls telling me I was totally unsuccessful this time, but thanks for trying.

Can you blame me for feeling a little down about it all?

So I thought I’d stop and count my blessings. For 1 week in January, my church was the host of the Life Exhibition. It was an awesome exhibition about Jesus’ life, aimed at primary school ages. Our youth leader co-ordinated 3 local primary schools to come round the exhibition, two of which had members of our youth club in. I took on the responsibility of teaching in one of the pods that were erected in our main hall. Nothing lifted my spirits like a group of our youth club coming in, seeing me and getting excited that I was there.

It made me feel wanted in a way that only those kids have the power to do. Every week, they want my attention, they want to talk to me. It sounds crazy, but that doesn’t happen all that often. No one really wants my attention… I work in retail. As far as the customers are concerned, I’m there to serve a purpose and that’s it. I don’t have a huge number of friends, just a few, and I don’t see them all that often… less than once a week anyway!

So I’ve decided to give up on the job hunt. For now anyway. I’m over educated and under experienced, which isn’t about to change anytime soon. Every single job is so ultra competitive in the current market that, looking at my friends, I should count my lucky stars that I’m employed at all.

I am incredibly blessed in that, although I can’t get a job in a school or teaching, that I can spend a handful of Sundays teaching children about God and spend one evening a week hanging out with some awesome kids and encouraging them to know Jesus is amazing. I’ve found something I’m good at, and I’m using it for God.

Sometimes I wonder what my life would’ve been like if I’d ignored God reaching out to me 4 years ago. I’m so pleased I reached back, because right now, although on paper life is a bit rubbish, in reality, it’s pretty damn wonderful.

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