Delete, delete, delete…

Hello, my name is Amy and I’m a deleter. I write and re-write and then delete and write again text messages, tweets and emails. Am I alone in this club?

I rethink what I’m about to write more than I ever think about what comes out of my mouth. I do the same with half my actions too. Some of my greatest moments are at least hours in the making, sometimes days, sometimes even months. Most of my texts, tweets or emails are a 3rd or 4th draft. I’m not a ‘spur of the moment’ tweeter like I used to be. The times when I’d tweet about my underwear and instantly regret it are long gone.

Instead, I sit here, wondering if I’ve used my 140 characters as best I can. I look at the email I’m about to send and just before I hit go, I change my mind entirely. What if what’ve said can be totally misconstrued?! No way, I can’t send this email now, it needs a total re-write.

I receive some emails that are so totally succinct and to the point, I envy the author of their abilities. I’m pretty sure they just said what they wanted and hit send. I receive other emails that I can only just about decipher. Typos and autocorrect have gone crazy and the author hasn’t checked them. And yet, I find myself curiously envious of that author too. He’s hit send without a second thought. They’re not second guessing their words like me.

Then there’s the texts. So often do I read my texts and start constructing a response and then I get distracted and I never reply. I think and re-think, read and rewrite.

Am I over thinking what should be 3 of the quickest, most mindless forms of communication? Texts, tweets and emails… they were designed to make communication quicker and easier, and yet, here I am making them more complicated and difficult than they ever should be.

Or am I taking this approach on the wrong platform? Should I be thinking less when I email and thinking more when I speak? I should be tweeting without a worry and carefully constructing my sentences before I open my mouth. Is my world turned on it’s head? Or does everyone do this? Or are they balanced? Do they sometimes think before they speak, and sometimes carefully construct their tweets and at other times, say what’s on their mind and mindlessly text?

Balance is a horribly tricky thing. It’s so precise, something I fear I will forever strive for and yet never reach. But to give up, well, giving up would be the biggest let down. So I guess my conclusion is that I will try to achieve in my verbal communications what I achieve so much better in my written communications. But perhaps, to think before everything is the key, but it could be that my mind isn’t up to the challenge.

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