In Over My Head



I have come to this place in my life 
I’m full but I’ve not satisfied 
This longing to have more of You 
I can feel it my heart is convinced
I’m thirsty my soul can’t be quenched

You already know this but still

Come and do whatever You want to

Have you ever been going through something and you really don’t know what to do about?
You’ve exhausted all of your options, you’ve done everything you’ve conceived to be possible, and still there is no resolution or even movement toward resolution?


I’m standing knee deep but I’m out where I’ve never been

I feel You coming and I hear Your voice on the wind

Then suddenly it dawns on you. You haven’t exhausted your options.
You’ve just not been looking in the right place for answers.
You have been trying to fix everything in your own strength, in your time frame.
Your soul is crying out to God, and you’ve been drowning out the cries with your own attempts at solutions and effort.


Would you come and tear down the boxes that I have tried to put You in
Let love come teach me who You are again 
Take me back to the place where my heart was only about You
And all I wanted was just to be with You 

Come and do whatever You want to

All too often as Christians we come to the point of desperation, where we feel out of options, so call out to God.
The whole time He has been there waiting for us to seek His help, He’s had the solutions the whole time, but we’ve been too busy trying to solve this thing ourselves to even realise He’s there let alone put an answer right within our reach.
We are trying to fit God into the boxes of our lives that suit us, rather than pursuing Him at the beginning of every endeavour, at the beginning of every dilemma, at the beginning of every day.


Further and further my heart moves away from the shore
Whatever it looks like, whatever may come I am Yours 
Further and further my heart moves away from the shore

Whatever it looks like, whatever may come I am Yours

When we seek God before the trouble begins, the trouble never seems as big.
When we seek an answer from our Creator, Maker, Life-Giver, Sustainer, Healer, Helper, Lord, at the start of any endeavour or task, then we know we can rely on Him right the way through to the end.
But we have to take that step to trust Him and stop relying on ourselves.



Then You crash over me and I’ve lost control but I’m free
I’m going under, I’m in over my head
And You crash over me, I’m where You want me to be
I’m going under, I’m in over my head

Whether I sink, whether I swim
It makes no difference when I’m beautifully in over my head
Whether I sink , whether I swim
It makes no difference when I’m beautifully in over my head

I’m Beautifully in over my head

I’m Beautifully in over my head

Listening to this song in the car one day I was absolutely pouring my heart out, asking God for breakthrough and to step into my circumstances.
Then I felt the need to be silent, and to listen to the words. I started the song again and just listened.
I really felt God speaking to me about trusting Him – letting go of my independence so that I need Him.
I had this vision of being in the ocean, at the shoreline, and as the song progressed I was walking further and further out, just like the lyrics continue, out to where the ocean is wild and free, but God is present and watching over.
Then out of nowhere the image in my mind changed. I was in a swimming pool in a dark dank and small room that had seen better days. I looked around me and I was about waist high in the pool. I had obviously walked from the shallow end to the half way point and was making my way to the deep end.
It was like the song – I had started knee deep; where I had never been before. I kept going deeper and deeper like God was calling me, but it was so safe, so controlled – really there wasn’t any trust there at all. I could have made my way back to the shallows at any point, and failing that, one of the two life guards on the side would’ve saved me from any trouble.
This image was so clear in my mind – you think you are stepping out in faith. You think you are being obedient. But actually, where is the need for God? Where is my trust being tested?
In His Word, God tells us to love your neighbour as yourself (Matthew 22:39), and go and make disciples of all nations (Matthew 28:19). Jesus gives us the authority to heal the sick, to bring hope to the poor and downtrodden and to look after the widows and the orphans in our world (Luke 10).
Where is the evidence of God working in my life? Yes, I have a relationship with Jesus and am continually being transformed, but if someone was to meet me on the street or in a cafe, would they know I was a Christian? Am I following His Word and instruction enough to actually be obedient to it?
I am still in the midst of this challenge, so there is no answer. I just figured this was a platform to share how God is working in my life, and hope that it might challenge someone else in the same way, or maybe someone has had a similar vision.
I want to be found out in the ocean. I want to be so far out on a limb that people have to ask what I’m doing, and the only answer I can give is that I’m following Jesus.
Do you have any advice or tips on how to move forward? I’d love to know!

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