I love country music. You already know this if you’re a regular reader, or even if you know me. But what most people don’t know, is that my favourite country music is born out of the darker side of love… The break-ups, the relationships falling apart. I like singing along about liars and cheaters, because the singers actually sound vindictive and I actually know about liars and cheaters, and I know break-ups, even though I’ve never been in a relationship.
Some people pity me and feel sorry for me because I’ve never been in a relationship. Sometimes I pity myself, but then I remember, I can’t miss something I’ve never had.
Everyone knows liars and cheaters and I’ve known way too many people (girls) who have tried to ruin my life by spreading lies about me. It hurts a lot. But like those country singers sing about… You get up and brush yourself off. The friends who really matter don’t believe the lies they hear. Both of the girls in question tried to be friends with me before and after in one case. Safe to say, I never trusted either of them.
Cheaters? Break-ups? Well friends can do that to you, and ok, so you’re not as intimate with your friends as you are in a relationship, but they’re still important, and when a friend “cheats” on you with one of the aforementioned liars… Well, I don’t know for sure, but it pretty much feels like a knife in your back.
And I’ve experienced break-ups. There are four friends I miss, a lot. One more recently than the others. I said things I didn’t mean, I’m sure they did too (or I guess I hope they did). We were really close. Super close. All the four friends and me were. Some of them were just time and distance, others were drunken mistakes that weren’t really mistakes but neither of us had the balls to admit it, others I don’t even know how it happened and then others still were arguments and depression infused.
I regret losing them all. I think, is there something I could have done differently to hold on to them? I’m still crying my tears (metaphorically) over the most recent one, but the others… The wounds have sort of healed. I miss them, and think about them. But I remember, it takes two to lose a friendship. It wasn’t all on me. They didn’t want to stay in touch with me as much as I didn’t stay in touch with them.
I’m obsessed with one song at the moment, and it sort of prompted me to write this blog. I started watching Nashville and the music is insanely good. So this is Hayden Panettiere from the show singing ‘Love Like Mine’. There’s that period where you mourn your losses, but then you pick yourself up and realise that they’ve lost out on your awesomeness. Because I am a good friend when you’ve got me. I love nothing more than to listen to you, I want to help you and give you advice, you’re welcome at mine any hour of the day or night, my entire DVD collection is open to you, I’ll buy you drinks when you’re skint, I’ll make you dinner… You really never will find another friendship like mine.